I think I shall soon have to concede defeat. I wish this were not the case as I prefer to be the one celebrating in triumph. I have to admit though, that my body probably knows what is best for me.
I have documented my anal explorations here and I continue with them today. Despite my attempts, and my one successful try at anal sex, anything but my slimmest toy continues to cause me large amounts of pain.
My slimmest toy doesn't hurt me, though it does feel unsettling. When I try to move up from this however, I can barely insert the tip before tears begin to well in my eyes. It hurts, and it isn't a good hurt.
Before you start saying 'lube' I will have you know that I make sure to lose plenty of lube. Today in fact I used way to mush, accidentally squeezing half the tube out. I'm rather glad I had thought to lay a towel down because it really made quite the mess!
I recently ordered a set of butt plugs in three sizes. I plan to trial these when they arrive, I am not going to back down without one last fight. But failing success there, I will leave my ass alone. Perhaps it's not my ass creating the barrier, perhaps it's my mind. I don't know. But I do believe that on the topic of what feels wrong or right my body does know best and I should trust it to make this decision for me.