So yesterday I asked Mr Good-Company to read my previous entry, telling him that when he had done that I had a question to ask him. He said he read it (I didn't believe him) but I asked my question anyway. 'Can we have sex once more before you leave?' His reply was 'maybe'. I was okay with that.
Tonight I asked him if he had an answer for me or if he was still thinking. He chose not to respond at all, ignoring me completely. Finally, after I lost my temper and sent some slightly abusive texts, he replied with 'fine then, no.' I don't know if this would have been his answer if I hadn't asked for a response so soon, but I did ask. I wouldn't have had a problem if he hadn't made a decision yet, I would have just left it that. Instead of telling me he hadn't made up his mind yet, or even 'no', Mr Good-Company took the cowards way out and chose to ignore me all together.
After out conversation the other night I was thinking that we could be friends. He apologised for after-all. Now, after being ignored tonight I feel instead that all he wanted from that conversation was a blow job. That hurts. A lot. I had thought that I couldn't be so gullible, so naive as to be used like that. Apparently I was wrong.
I wish I wasn't so quick to trust the words of people. I wish I could always assume the worse before it happens. Being used, that hurts. Knowing that if I weren't so gullible I probably could have prevented it from happening, well that hurts even more.
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